Steps to Overcome Perfectionism with CBT

Perfectionism can sometimes lead to excessive self-criticism and an unhealthy pursuit of unattainable standards. While striving for high standards can be positive, some types of perfectionism can bring significant emotional and mental distress. Types of distress that are common include anxiety, procrastination and burnout. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is an approach that helps address the harmful effects of perfectionism. This is how CBT can help you take practical steps toward finding balance:

1. Understand Yourself:
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First you need to understand what perfectionism looks like for yourself. Some for example engage in a critical self focus which keeps them stuck by preventing them from expanding their behavioural repertoire.


2. Unrealistic Standards:

Perfectionism can make people set unattainable goals whilst feeling defeated when they’re not met. Not feeling good enough deep down can make people always want to change their current state, whilst pursuing the futile quest of chasing unrealistic goals.

Perfectionism can make people view outcomes as either total successes or absolute failures.

Fear of Failure: Some people procrastinate because of the fear of not meeting their unrealistic standards.

The first step in overcoming perfectionism is understanding these patterns and recognizing how they contribute to stress, procrastination and maintain low self-esteem.

3. Be aware of Perfectionist Thinking:

CBT helps individuals identify and manage unhelpful thoughts. This includes:
Write down perfectionistic thoughts like, “If I don’t do this perfectly, I’m a failure,” and try to understand how this fits within the overall presentation of yourself. Being aware when these thoughts play out AS THEY OCCUR will help you not recognise that you are not your thoughts and you have far more control of what and how you do what you do in your life.


4. Defining Goals:

Set goals that are beneficial for yourself. It is crucial to avoid the trappings of over extending yourself after you have met predefined goals. Have a baseline that you want to cover and do not indulge in self criticism if you do not regularly exceed that baseline. Over extending yourself can become an addiction.

Focus on Progress: Shift the emphasis from achieving perfection to making consistent progress that is not black and white (do not do a lot one day and very little the other).

By adopting a more realistic approach, you’ll find tasks less daunting and more attainable.


5. Embrace Imperfection

Intentional Imperfection: Try completing a task to a “good enough” standard rather than a perfect one. For example, send an email without endlessly reviewing it.

Reflect often: Look back at your behavioural patterns and reflect how these interacted with aspects of your environment. If you know what drives your perfectionism and other problems then you will learn how so many helpful things such as understanding what prevents the snowball from getting bigger.

Overcoming Procrastination: Break tasks into smaller, actionable steps.

Balance Rest and Work: Schedule regular breaks and set boundaries to avoid burnout. Remind yourself that rest is essential for productivity.

By addressing these patterns, you can establish healthier routines and reduce stress.

6. Build Resilience to Criticism

A common fear among perfectionists is external judgment or criticism. CBT equips individuals with tools to cope:

Reframe Criticism: View feedback as an opportunity to grow rather than a personal attack.
Role-Playing: Practice responding to imagined criticisms in a therapy session to build confidence for handling real-life situations.
Learning to accept constructive feedback without equating it to failure will help you overcome perfectionism.

There are many ways to work on perfectionism and what is best for some may not be a good solution for others. In order to understand how you can best work on your own perfectionist tendencies, you need to understand yourself and then make use of that understanding in the best way you can. It does not make a difference whether you try and use CBT for perfectionism through in person sessions, online therapy or over the phone. Research has shown that all of these mediums are effective in addressing such difficulties.